Dear Henrietta,
My husband insists on turning our backyard into a “man cave paradise” with old recliners, a mini-fridge, and string lights that look like they belong in a junkyard. It’s an eyesore, and now the neighbors are whispering! I love him, but how do I reclaim my garden without declaring war?
Signed,
Backyard Battleground
Dear Backyard Battleground,
Oh, honey, bless his heart—sounds like he’s got more enthusiasm than taste! Henrietta knows a thing or two about taming wild spaces. Don’t go storming in with a pitchfork. Instead, outsmart him with some sneaky Southern strategy.
• Turn it into a “joint project”: Tell him you’re “helpin'” by adding your touch—swap those ratty recliners for hammocks and plant flowers around the mini-fridge to “camouflage” it. Before he knows it, it’ll be more garden than garage sale!
• Host a “neighborhood critique party”: Invite the whispering neighbors over for sweet tea and let them comment on his setup. He’ll either defend it fiercely or cave when he sees their raised eyebrows—either way, you’ll have allies.
• Bribe with bears: Promise him a “manly adventure” like a faux bear hunt in the woods if he clears out the junk. (Tip: Hide a stuffed teddy in the bushes for drama.) Busy him with that, and your backyard blooms again!
Remember, a happy husband is one who’s too tired to argue. Reclaim that yard, darlin’!
Love,
Henrietta
Henrietta Craven was born and raised in New Bern and enjoys gardening, hunting bears, and improvisational dance. She is a self-proclaimed expert on a wide variety of subjects including (but not limited to) fashion, mixology, and cooking. Henrietta resides in a lovely Victorian home in downtown New Bern with her five cats: Graffenreid, Bethune, Devereux, Stanton, and Carraway.