Dear Henrietta,
I matched with someone on a dating app, and our first meetup was at a coffee shop. Turns out, he looked nothing like his profile pics—think 10 years older and a foot shorter! I stuck it out politely, but now he’s pushing for date two. How do I bow out gracefully without being rude?
Signed,
Catfished in the Café
Dear Catfished in the Cafe,
Well, bless his deceptive heart. No need for drama; we’ll exit with Southern grace and a side of sass.
• The “honest fade-out”: Reply sweetly: “Darlin’, that coffee was nice, but I’m lookin’
for a match that’s a bit more… unfiltered. Best of luck!” It’s kind but clear.
• Flirty deflection: Suggest a “group hang” with friends as a test—invite him to an art
walk or trivia night. If he shows, the crowd buffers; if not, you’ve dodged naturally!
• Outrageous escape: Blame your cats for “vetoing” him. “Feline intuition never lies!”
Then block and brew yourself a victory latte.
Swipe left on the lies, sugar—you deserve the real deal!
Love,
Henrietta
Henrietta Craven was born and raised in New Bern and enjoys gardening, hunting bears, and improvisational dance. She is a self-proclaimed expert on a wide variety of subjects including (but not limited to) fashion, mixology, and cooking. Henrietta resides in a lovely Victorian home in downtown New Bern with her five cats: Graffenreid, Bethune, Devereux, Stanton, and Carraway.