Dear Henrietta,
I want to throw an awesome St. Patty’s party for my friends, but here’s the catch: I want it to feel just like it did when we were in college, even though we’re all kinda old guys now! Can you help me turn back the clock to our Sigma Nu fraternity days?
Signed,
Mr. Shenanigans
Dear Mr. Shenanigans,
You definitely wrote to the right lassie for help!
Step One: Decorate! Head to the dollar store and snatch up all the St. Patty’s Day decorations that you can score: tacky green hats, beads, shamrocks, Leprechans. Design some “Kiss Me I’m Irish” t-shirts with your fraternity logo and the date of the best party EVER!
Step Two: Alcohol! Buy a keg of the cheapest beer you can find, like Natty Ice and add some green food coloring. The green beer sets the tone for the whole party! Next, load up on whiskey and don’t forget the green Jell-O shots.
Step Three: Drinking games! Two words: beer pong.
Step Four: Food! Call your Mom and persuade her to make corned beef and cabbage. Have her bring over enough to feed at least 20 drunk people and then pretend you made it yourself. If you are lucky, it might convince a girl at the party that you are mature enough to know how to cook real food and get you a date for the following weekend!
Step Five: Authenticity! If you really want this party to feel like an authentic fraternity party, DON’T CLEAN ANYTHING. That means sticky floors, no toilet paper for the ladies, and a bathroom that is so nasty that new life forms seem to be growing out of the mold in the corners.
Have fun and Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Love,
Henrietta
Henrietta Craven was born and raised in New Bern and enjoys gardening, hunting bears and improvisational dance. She is a self-proclaimed expert on a wide variety of subjects including (but not limited to) fashion, mixology, and cooking. Henrietta resides in a lovely Victorian home in downtown New Bern with her five cats: Graffenreid, Bethune, Devereux, Stanton and Carraway.